US Presidential election results rendered invalid!

In a mind stunning turn of events, all election results for president of the United States have effectively been rendered invalid. This breaking news was brought to our attention by the Alabama Sentiment Service Network.

Their invetigative team has turned up evidence that a resident of Ledbetter Oval Lakes was granted Excalibur by the "Lady of the Lake". The resident was initially confused at the sight of a half dressed woman exiting the lake, then subsequently amazed by her pronouncement that he is the rightful heir to the throne of the kingdom of the North America. "Well, ya know, I was just out walking along a path and thinking to get breakfast down at betty lou's bakery, but it seems like I should bingewatch 'The Crown' on netflix now so I can get to Monarching properly".

photo-armenia.com, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons

Our team has attempted to confirm the legality of this claim, but calls to the supreme court and other government agencies have not been been met with laughter and disdain. When consulting our internal experts, they quickly confirmed that the legend has merit as it has an article on wikipedia and our google research returns thousands of results. This stunning revelation is sure to send shockwaves through the mainstream media and other "fake news outlets" as they scramble to supress this new evidence.

Harold D. Hamstersnatch, our chief political correspondent, expressed an even greater concern that this might actually be part of a "Deep State" conspiracy citing: "Well, you know that lake is really deep, and it IS in a state, so logically it's probably related to that child pedophile ring we've heard so much about".

What this means for the outgoing President and the incoming President elect remains to be seen. We will continue to report as more information becomes available.

PS This is satire, if you believe any of this...please take off your tinfoil hat and read some non-fiction...regardless, if you enjoyed this (or even hated it) feel free to leave a comment and/or write suggestions on the back of a three dollar bill and mail to someone who cares. :)